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2004—25 November: Talent Show |
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 Mark favored us with “Hamlet’s Soliloquy.” |
 Then I did “Peanut Butter.” 1 |
 And I don’t recall just which deathless item Valerie and I collaborated on. |
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1[Spoken indistinctly, with the tongue held against the roof of the mouth] I now have a gob of peanut butter sssstuck on the rooofff of my mouth. Now, there are three ways to get a gob of peanut butter offf the rooofff of your mouth. One way is to swallow it… [tries] …and that doesn’t work. The second way is to pry it off with the end of your tongue… [tries] …and that doesn’t work, either. Sssso. The only way to get a gob of peanut butter off the rooofff of your mouth is to pry it off with the end of your finger! [Does so.] [Spoken distinctly:] I now have a gob of peanut butter stuck on the end of my finger. Now, there are three ways to get a gob of peanut butter off the end of your finger… One way is to shake it off… [tries] …and that doesn’t work. The second way is to blow it off… [tries] …and that doesn’t work, either. Sssso. The only way to get a gob of peanut butter off the end of your finger is to suck it off! [Does so.] [Spoken indistinctly, with the tongue held against the roof of the mouth] I now have a gob of peanut butter sssstuck on the rooofff of my mouth. Now, there are three ways to get a gob of peanut butter offf the rooofff of your mouth…
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