Springfield

My second-favorite 1Lincoln story: Mr Salmon P Chase, Lincoln’s Treasury Secretary (a very churchly man, and one who wanted his boss’ job so badly he couldn’t sleep nights), proposed in Cabinet meeting in 1860 that United States coinage should bear the legend, “In God We Trust.” Nobody objected, and it has been so ever since. They were starting a war, and they were broke. So they had to invent the greenback. The United States’ first dollar bill bore the image of Salmon P Chase; the $2 bill, that of President Lincoln.2In Cabinet meeting, according to John Hay, Mr Chase proposed that the new paper money also say, “In God We Trust.” But the President chuckled: “Well, Mr Chase, I have to agree that, given the pickle we’re in, we need all the Divine help we can get. And “In God We Trust.” is just fine, for a little, bitty coin. But on one of these shinplasters we’re printing, there’s room for something bigger, more expressive. I have a proposal, from the Book of Acts in the Bible, where Peter says, “Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have give I to thee.” The Cabinet roared, and the idea sank without a trace. To rise again only in the Eisenhower administration, nearly a century later. 1…but what about my FIRST favorite, I hear you cry? Just be patient. 2…Mr Chase used to cut a dollar bill in half and use each half as a calling card.

My very first-favorite Lincoln story: Mr Lincoln, as a young lawyer, argues a case: “Gentlemen of the jury, my friend [the other lawyer] has given you the facts, pretty much as I understand them. But he’s putting the wrong interpretation on them.” Whereupon the jury explodes in uncontrollable mirth, rolling on the floor of the jury-box. It’s minutes before the judge can restore order. Lincoln wins. Afterward, the losing lawyer says, “Well, Lincoln, I suppose I should congratulate you, but I still don’t know what you did. You didn’t say anything funny.” “Oh, yes, I did, but you aren’t from around here, and so you wouldn’t know. All those farmers from around here know the story of the little boy who rushes to his farmer father and blurts out, “Dad! I’m worried about Sister Susie! She’s up in the hayloft with the hired man. She’s got her skirts up. He’s got his pants down. [pause] Dad, I’m afraid they’re going to pee all over our hay!” “Well,” says his dad, it appears that you have the facts right, but…”

Mr. Lincoln’s tomb in Springfield, Illinois

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